So I haven't being paying this blog much attention sadly, been filling my time with such great money making schemes as working for Colonel Bogeys for a night, the Island's top night spot, where every teenage mum and fat balding chav loves to let off some steam to a classic set list of Dirty Dancing and Queen.
A shift ending in tiptoeing around shards of glass whilst trying to clear any remaining whole glasses from the sea of shattered daggers beneath my delicately crafted flimsy black pumps.
'Flat shoes' as the requirement my arse, they should have put down '5 inch soled, steel capped army boots' with the amount of blood hungry weapons strewn on the floor, but ah well, thought i should probably drop in on here.
Last night me, my two hags and a fag went to Welcome in the highlight of the summer season on the island.
'Happy Monday, Love Mondays'....otherwise know as Derek Sandy poncing about on Appley Seafront as any true Islander should immediately recall and hold the memory close to their hearts.
After the opening number of Kingston Town, Bob whacked out the tune that echoes from every corner of the island... 'Welcome to the Isle of Wight'..supposedly now the "National Anthem" of the Island.
And well it should be.
It is probably the most hysterical song ever written if you know about the Isle of Wight, if not then the video should be enough to make anyone laugh.
The fact that a man moved from Tobago to live a life on the Isle of Wight, terming it as 'paradise' should raise a few eyebrows.
But as the music that has flowed for 5 years straight carried on flowing, and Dezza bopped away givin' it his all to a crowd of Appley Bummers, all I could think of is what an effin laugh the Island is.