Fruit Pastel

As most students know, it’s beginning to be dissertation term; i.e. horrific amounts of stress for what seems to be a very empty outcome. So, what’s the perfect reward after days on end of panic sweats and sleepless nights? Well apparently I have been let in on the answer..

After a hard day’s work in the library I was on my way home, buckling under the weight of my books I was caught behind an extremely exasperated northern girl openly shouting down her phone. Without much effort on my part I overheard her ranting about how her day had turned into a pile of “utter crap.”

From what I could guess she had spent hours in the library and then her computer had crashed and lost her work...Nightmare!

She had, as a result, consumed an entire pack of fruit pastels. What seemed to have sent her over the edge though, was her boyfriend thus making her feel guilty...

 In the midst of her incredibly loud, increasingly agitated chat she started to scream, ‘Ay think ay DE-SERRVE a bludy frout pastil atfa tha’. Like the others that I have seen wandering around with glazed eyes and no shoes or socks, I concluded that she’d lost it.

(I personally feel the rats with most kind of sweets, something about the mix of that bizarre scent of breathy factory, the festering pots of pick and mix fingered by every sticky-child that can reach, and the disgusting amount of saliva it generates in the masticating mouths of the sugar inclined...)

But what I got from all this was: having a shitty day, why not grab a fruit pastel?

...think I’ll pass.